


His Dear, John Laurens.

by Wulver



Series: Laurens x Hamilton [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alex is a dick, Alex is a real jerk in this one, Alex still loves him, Alexander Hamilton Being an Asshole, Angst, Angst., Anymore..., Army Camp, Depression, F/M, Historical Inaccuracy, Homophobia, Its okay??, John Doesn't Mind, John deserves better, John is Alone, John's death, John's interlude, M/M, Not enough ambition to write a book, One Shot, Please Don't Kill Me, Rip Eliza, Sad, The events are altered, This Is STUPID, What Have I Done, Worth crying over XD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-06
Updated: 2017-07-06
Packaged: 2018-11-28 10:14:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11415786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wulver/pseuds/Wulver
Summary: Where Alex fell in love with John first. But since their love is forbidden, Alex finds Eliza. Basically John's interlude... But in my view and description.Eliza and Hamilton's relationship isn't really expressed in a romantic sense. Sure it's supposed to be, but the Hamilton community loves to torture our founding fathers... For some reason. So my story really zeroes in on the Lams and Angst.





	His Dear, John Laurens.

  John had stood alone that night. Watching everyone as they danced and cheered to the festive music, being played off an expensive violinist. He grimaced as he watched Alexander's intoxicating smile light up the room. Although in John's opinion, they could have lost a few candles and just use Alex's amzing smile. If amazing could have even describe it.

  The people crowded the corridors, they just had to congratulate the senators daughter on her marriage. Nobody bothered John when he drowned himself at the offered Sam Adams. They were to busy gushing over the groom and bride to be. Even John's own friends were swept up into the chaos. John didn't see them till later that night, when he was almost brain dead from the large intake of alcohol.

   John couldn't bare to watch it. But Alex was his _best friend._ It would have been rude to leave. Not that Alex would have known he was gone. John wasn't even spared a glance during the whole event.

  But god, he remembers when that smile use to belong to him. When all they needed to do was stand up for the people, locked underneath the King's control. Having hurlrd themselves at the peak of revolution. When they didn't need  _women_ to satisfy them. When being a proud American, and dreams of freeing the people of this country were enough. When John was enough.

  Lying awake one night after a hurricane he created, John's body shivered from the icy cold that the tent couldn't protect him from, he thought. This is never good for anybody. But, John had time, it's not like he was going to sleep after this week's events. They were on an endless loop, a cruel joke his brained played. It's like his brain wants to torture him for his mistake.

  John thought back to that night, hundreds of different of scenarios went through his mind. What could be have done different? Why he say what he said? What could he have done to at least keep Alex as a friend?

  Now he was being sent away. To finish the war elsewhere. John didn't want to leave, he wanted to at least be able to steal glimpes at his beloved acquaintance. But no, he made his choice before this whole ordeal. John must admit though, it might be for the best.

-

   _George gave him a solem look. He didn't seem pleased with their actions. But John would do it again in a heartbeat if it meant serving Alex. Though this didn't mean much now._

_With Alex being married, John's effort was wasted. John's sacrifice was nothing more than a petty deed done by an old forgotten friend._

_"I cannot say I did not warn you." The commander finally spoke. It had been a long five minutes._

_John straighten his posture._

_"You did, sir."_

_"And... I have rules. Alex was told not to engage Lee." George stopped. His voice was calm, but firm_

_"He didnt, sir" John kept his head forward, as the commander paced around his desk._

_"Yes I know. You did..." He paused. "You shot Lee. Young man. What were you thinking? I said no to such obsertity to Alexander, that dose not give you the right to do It either Laurens."_

_"Yes, I know, sir." John looked down._

_"I must have order in this camp. You are being sent to South Carolina to finish this war. Understand?" George spoke as if John was a child. His face holding a small smile._

_"I understand, sir!"_

_"And don't think I don't know about your and Alexander's nights alone." The commander wasn't facing John anymore._

_John could feel his face warm slightly. But he didn't move from his stance, as he was not dismissed._

_"You don't have to worry about that now, sir." John's voice quieted. Almost a whisper he said, " He is now married, sir."_

_Washington did not respond to John's statement. He gave a small sigh and dismissed John._

_The fact that John was being moved didn't settle in until he was standing alone in a sea of tents. John bit his lip, and closed his eyes. His breath was heavy, but he didn't cry. There was no time for crying. This was war, he was standing up for the people._

_Later that night he faced Alexander. They crossed eachothers paths unexpectantly. Behind of the nurses tent they stand alone. Both John and Alex had been avoiding eachother, unknowingly though._

_"John." Alex whispered._

_"Alexander." John could feel his insides twist a little. "I'm leaving."_

_"What do you mean?" Alex seemes to actual care._

_"I'm going to South Carolina to finish this mess." He gave a small chuckle._

_"Is it because...?" Alexander voice silenced._

_"Of course." John said almost bitterly. "Why wouldn't it be."_

_Alexander's brows furrowed at John's statement. John didn't realize how angry he was becoming from this whole situation._

_"What is that supposed to mean?"_

_"What do you think?" John_ _raises his hands a bit. "I did something out of my comfort zone, yet again might I add, for you."_

_"You're mad at me?" Alex questioned. His tone calmness dripping away. "I told you Laurens. I told you to not throw away your shot."_

_"You think I care about leaving you? You go off and get married, leaving me." John's confidence diminishing "Starting over. Without a goodbye. You planned your marriage while we were together."_

_"John-"_

_"And the way..." Getting more angry in each word, John takes a shaky breath. "The way you tell me your done, is with a fucking invitation to said wedding. And during all of this, you didn't even look at me. Alexander, please tell me, how the hell you gonna get yourself out of this one."_

_"I-... I, don't.... I don't know. John I... still love you though. But we couldn't... keep that going. You knew that from the beginning." Alex lifted John's fallen face._

_"But why did you do that to me. It hurts." John's voice finally broke._

_Alex looked away. A pained expression crawling its way on to his features._

_"I have to go."_

_"Can I at least have a kiss. For good luck?" Asked John, a pleading smile on his lips._

_"I'm sorry." Was all he got before Alexander left._

_Leaving him alone, standing in the dull light of the moon. Trails of tears running down his face. He left after thirty minutes of boiling anger, and sharp pain. John didn't see Alexander all week. He was glad, he might've done something he wpuld regret more._

_-_

 But here, John stood. Alongside his fellow soldiers, in an open windy, glade fighting off an army of red. The British were ruthless, merciless on the American fighters. There were already  plenty of casualties, John wasn't planning on being one of them. For his will to see Alexander one last time burned strong. But when does John ever plan on anything.

  John didn't plan on meeting Alexander in the bar hub that one drunken afternoon, but he can blame Aaron Burr for that. Befriending the short tempered, immigrant, hadn't crossed his mind until he began to preach about the colonies and their freedom. Soon falling for Alex became to easy, with his determination and stubbornness, and the way Alex layered his letter with words that created such convincing love, John fell hard. And John sure as hell didn't plan on getting his heart broke so easily by that man.

  So when the pain shocked his body, he wasn't suprised. Well John was, he had never felt such pain come from a bullet wound. He was almost afraid to look down, he didn't end looking down. So instead, after falling to his back with a loud, and painful 'thud', he brought his warm, sticky hand to his face. It was an exhausting chore, and upon seeing the amount of blood dripping from his drencbed hand, John let it fall limp. 

  Being honest with himself, John likes this over heart brake. Because at least when its over... He won't have to feel it anymore.

  So when breathing became a task to difficult for John to bare, reality was a mix of colors fading in and out and dizzy skies. And keeping his overly heavy body working to its max. He began to sputter the mouthful he was carrying, John's chest heaving from the spiking pain. And soon, John wasn't afraid to close his eyes, because maybe the heart brake wouldn't be so painful.

-

  Eliza's hand was over her mouth as she fought back loud sobs. She only met Laurens once, and he was such a sweet person, how could one not like him. Not only that but he was one of Alexander's closest friends. Upon remembering that she looked up horrified.

  Alexander was still hunched over in writing position. Though the pen has fallen out of his grip awhile ago. A single tear fell from his eye, as he still wide eyes and mouth a gape.

  "Alexander are you alright?" She whispered as she approached slowly.

  All of a sudden Alex flew from his chair, standing towards the door. He gripped the side of the door frame.

  "I have so much work to do." And he was gone. To where? Eliza had not a single clue. 

  And for the next several months Alexander drowned himself in work. Joining the law firm, becoming a lawyer. He worked non-stop. Hoping some way, some how, along his journey he could make it up to his Dear, John Laurens.

**Author's Note:**

> Its one o'clock. I'm not tired. But I don't know, this is okay in my opinion?? Could be better, but I'm to lazy to edit anymore. Hope you enjoyed.
> 
>  
> 
> WHAT HAVE I DONE. I FEEL SO BAD FOR OUR FOUNDING FATHERS.


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